19.

With only one week left in Riviera together, Mason and Elder Degn had some very exciting news for the week—They have a baptism scheduled! Sweet little Ernesto will be baptized this week into the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints!
Mason will be performing the ordinance. His first baptism of the mission!

You know I can't wait to see my man dressed in white!

Say Something.

It sounds a little contradictory, but I learned a lot about myself as I've gotten so close with Mase.
Some good.
Some Bad.
But during the first week in February of 2014, I learned some things about myself that were especially revealing.
I learned that I do not have to endure every hardship by myself.
I learned that relationships are not one-sided.
I learned that love means revealing EVERY single imperfection and having someone love you despite them.
And,
I learned that I cannot shut people out of my life when things get hard.
But unfortunately...
I learned that the hard way.

It was one of those "climax" weeks in the semester. Where everything piled up on me and I felt as if I was suffocating.
I was working as hard as I could.
Planning a Relief Society Party.
Studying morning, noon and night for my tests.
Trying to balance school work with a social life.
And on that particular night as I looked at the dreaded testing centre score board...
I felt more than inadequate.

If anyone knows me, they know that my biggest fear in life is being inadequate.
I didn't realize it at the time, but I have now come to realize that these feelings and fears lead me to shut out the people in my life that mean the most to me. Maybe it's because I don't understand why they would want to be associated with such inadequacy. Maybe it's because I don't want to disappoint the ones I love most. I don't know what causes me to do this, but during this particular week in February I learned that this habit of mine is incredibly SELFISH.

I walked home that night feeling as cold as the February air. I locked myself in the bathroom the minute I got home because I knew no one could see the tears streaming down my face in the shower so I stayed there until they stopped.
Mason had been texting me throughout the day. At first I was so busy that I just didn't have time to respond. But then I just didn't want to respond.
I didn't want him to see me like that.
I didn't want to show my vulnerability.
It was too scary.
He kept messaging me. Worried. Confused. Unaware. I never responded. Eventually the next night I told him that I didn't want to talk to him in the mindset I was stuck in. I said he didn't deserve that. In my mind I was doing him a favour. However, the message I got back has changed my perspectives ever since.
"What I don't deserve is a day of you ignoring me and then a second day where nothing changes except saying that you just don't want to talk to anyone and that you will be fine the next day... I know how you sometimes get these thoughts and feelings and you can do whatever you want, I don't have control but it has sucked and it will continue to suck."

Reading this still makes my stomach drop.
It was exactly in that moment that I learned that this was about far more than just me and my trials.
My life now included someone else.
And I realized that if I did't change I could lose him.
It was one of the very few times that Mason and I ever struggled in our relationship, and although I never want to see him so hurt again, I do think it was also one of the most growing experiences in our relationship.
I learned a lot about love that day. 
And a lot about myself.

18.

This was part of Mason's letter from last week:

"It is weird Michaela because here in the mission I know that a missionary in a leadership position does not mean they are better than other missionaries, and to be in that position does not mean your mission is better. But I have this awful mindset where I would love being in a leadership position, and for that reason I am actually trying super hard to work as hard as I can to achieve that...Even though I know that is not what it is about and in the end that is all done through revelation. And it doesn't matter what my abilities are because it is all done by the spirit..."

Normally I don't specifically address the things that Mason mentions in his letters when I write my weekly emails, but for some reason that section of his letter stood out to me and I ended up writing this in response:

"As you talked about wanting to be in a leadership position in the mission in the last letter I received, I was not surprised one bit. In fact, I could have guessed that without you even telling me. That just sounds like my boy. And you know what? It will happen. You know why? Because we are talking about Mason Bentley. The boy has gotten almost everything he has ever wanted in his life (except for a trampoline and puppy which I'm sure he will get in the future). And I can almost predict that it will happen sooner for you than for any other missionary. I joke about it happening because you are such a lucky individual, but what I truly believe is that it will happen because you are an AMAZING missionary. I'm so proud of you."

Well I guess I shouldn't have been too shocked when I received an email on Monday morning saying:

"Michaela!! My whole mission just got flipped upside down today!"

Of course I got it as soon as he sent it because Monday's consist of me watching my emails and refreshing them every 20 seconds. So I quickly wrote back to find out what he was talking about.

Sure enough....

"I am going straight to the offices!!  Michaela! I only have 4 months in the mission!  I am going to be the Financial Secretary for the mission in the offices in Montevideo!!!!  Ahhh!!!!!!!  Elder Degn tells me that this never happens this early!!! And!  Not only that, but my comp is going to be a Brasilian and I am going to be learning Portuguese!!!!!!!!!!"

Yup.

I predicted it first folks.

Elder Mason Bentley will not only be in a leadership position, but he will also be learning Portuguese.

What can I say?

He gets what he wants.

And I am so incredibly proud of my hard working missionary.

Canada in January

One of my favourite memories with Mason to this day has to be our first trip to Canada.
It was January, and by that point Mason and I were tied to the hip.  Knowing this boy had such a special place in my heart, I wanted my parents to meet the boy I talked so much about.
We talked about the possibility throughout the week. Who's car we would take, when we would leave, who would come with us.
It was a Thursday—the same day I met Mason's brother for the first time—we were listening to a guest lecture in the Varsity Theatre.  It wasn't too long after the speaker started that I looked at Mason and he looked at me. We knew we were going to Canada.
That same night we had his Acura packed up and we were on our way.  It was just the two of us, and it was perfect. We drove through the night, I was in the front seat drenched in blankets and Mason was such a good sport to drive the whole way. I wasn't exactly sure what to expect. 12 hours is a long time to be in a car with one person, but we talked the ENTIRE way. It was by far the best 12 hour car ride I've ever experienced. We stopped at one point at a rest stop (parking lot haha) in Montana so Mason could sleep for a while. We cuddled up in the trillion blankets we brought and both fell asleep quickly. We ended up waking up at 7:00 that morning and finished the rest of the drive to my little town.
Our days in Canada consisted of snowy hikes in Waterton, bonding time with the rents, and sushi dates.  Pretty much my favourite things ever. I wouldn't change anything about that short trip. It was gold. We weren't there long, but the adventure we experienced will never die.

 This was definitely a Notebook moment—Canadian Style.

17.

"The Lord blesses me every week Michaela.  Because I am madly in love with you.  It is the truth, I am madly in love with you and I am so stoked for the future.  But like I said, Heavenly Father has blessed me so much on the mission.  Because I am able work all week.  168 hours in the week and I am able to be completed devoted except I get to take about 9 hours to let my wander it whatever way to think about you!  (that is my pday time... :) haha) But it is such a blessing that I dont have to worry about focusing on the mission to much.  I have been blessed in a way where it doesnt cross my mind to feel homesick or anything until my P-day time and then I am enjoying it so much I am just happy and I cant be sad!  And then as soon as P-day ends at 6:00 my mind is right back on the work and I have no problem.  I know that is the Lord blessing me because I dont have the right amount of control to do that by myself.  It truly is a blessing Mich."

The only picture Mase sent this week......Enjoy?

16.

"So Thursday was one of the best days ever thus far in the mission.  We have been working really hard to have a lot of success and Thursday was a day where everything just worked.  It was incredible.  Everywhere we went we found people that we could talk about and share a small message and get it set up to the point where they were comfortable with us coming back.  Oh goodness gracious it was such a good day.  We got home and just looked at each other and we were so confused how it turned out to be such a good day!"

 Don't think I didn't notice the pictures in the background. Presh.